Also want to apologize for not having any new, wordy posts up. I haven’t had the mental capacity for it lately.
I’m honestly not sure if my microphone even worked, it was plugged in.. Hopefully the sound is okay for my viewers!
I’m still heeeeeerreee guys!
Yes, I coloured my hair. Originally I wanted to try to match my dark brown roots but nope, the box colour was actually black. That’s okay though! I think it suits me. I also chopped my bangs. I have a few stray hairs and my fringe isn’t totally straight. I’m always doing something new and I get bored of how I look quite often.
We saw Bohemian Rhapsody and it was such an enjoyable film. I loved the story, the music and also all the cats. I’m almost certain Rami Malek is going to get some nominations – he was incredible.
I was interviewed by the sensory matters podcast and it should go live at the very end of the year/beginning of next year. I will post a reminder.
BONUS – Cute pictures of my cats!
I LOVE working on my blog!
I will admit that it’s incredibly hard work and I face a fair bit of negativity and rejection. There has been a lot of positivity, as well! I can’t believe all the opportunities I have had and continue to have. It’s amazing!
With that being said, I also do NOT make a single dollar off it. Not one.
In order to do so, I would have to:
- Host my own blog, which is expensive! I would then be able to initiate google analytics.
- Affiliate links and Ads
- Charge brands to work with me in exchange for content creation. I can’t do this because my traffic is not significant enough.
- Sell some Art. That means REALLY sell Art. Not just false leads aka. interested customers but no transactions.
There’s various ways you can help me:
- Share my content
- Sign up through my Ebates / Swagbucks links on the right hand side of my blog
- “Buy me a Coffee” – Monetary Donation
- Buy some of my art
Believe me, I have been brainstorming! I do whatever I can to make a good go-of-things but I currently work VERY infrequently and I am always wanting to create more and more content.
Thanks to all my amazing viewers, friends, family, #actuallyautistic community and brands/venues that have been kind enough to collaborate with me.
…By what happened at a local restaurant on Friday.
Brand New Video!
My Birthday was a couple days ago and I felt as though a new decade in my life deserves a tribute.
This past year I have felt like a lot has changed. I’m not sure if it’s for the better or if it’s just me being a persistent piece of work. I don’t feel as though i’m any different than I was as a teenager. Perhaps less of a social circle, more angry and frustrated. Less energetic and definitely more anxious. Those are not the most positive attributes but I honestly believe that i’m trying to live my best life and create some social change.
This year, I was featured in a local newspaper earlier in September. I also have multiple speaking opportunities coming up and I have done nearly 50 collaborations with various brands and attractions. My traffic to my website has increased significantly from last year (1,454 visitors in 2017 and so far 5,243 this year, apparently that’s a 260 percent increase!) which, I firmly believe, is a true testament to my hard work and fierce diligence.
I am able to express myself through art, writing, videos, and podcasts. I always said I wanted to start a blog and I feel that I am finally in the right headspace to contribute my voice to a bigger cause. I have only been diagnosed as an Autistic individual since I was 28 years old and now that i’m 30, the clarity and self-awareness continues to grow.
The hurdles I faced as an infant, child, teenager and now adult are just things I need to live with and I am so lucky to have some incredible people on this journey with me.
Older and wiser voices can help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.
..but words still hurt and the pain lingers.
I believe in the power of words. Whether it’s for good or bad, words linger. The power you can have over someone else’s emotions and personal strength is more impactful then you probably realize. That being said, tomorrow is my birthday and today I feel a bit crestfallen.
15 years, 20 years or 25 years, does the timeline really matter if you still feel the same way that you did when that person said or did that hurtful thing to you? Does time invalidate the pain or the ability to make things right with someone who you may have said incredibly distressing things to? No. Never.
You have time to make things right; time to heal those who you have wounded.
I feel like a fool sometimes for reaching out to those people and try to give them a chance to make amends, clear the air and have a positive interaction with me — but some of those people would rather make it seem like I am the one at fault; like I deserved it.
Reliving these terrible instances is a horrible way to live. Oh, and not only live, but sleep, dream or even have nightmares about it. Why are some worthy of respect from these individuals, even friends of mine, and yet I’m not? I don’t know if it’s because I’m wired differently, because I’m neurodiverse or because my skin isn’t as thick as it could be. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I spent so many years crying and being ‘beat up’ emotionally by those around me, including a family member who should have set a good example. The term “emotional punching bag” comes to mind.
If someone gives you the chance to make things right, please don’t insinuate that the victim is the one to blame when given the chance to make things right:
“I am sorry you harboured this feeling for so long. i’m not sure if I can give you the response that you wanted – but I do hope you can mend that hole.”
Please make amends with those you may have hurt.
Your words are more powerful than you realize.