Coming to terms with identity.

As you may already know (but you might not?!) I already have a hard enough time calling myself an “Autistic Artist” without a few people getting rather upset with me over that.

Now, I am adding a new term to the mix:

Non Binary

Nonbinary, also known as genderqueer, is a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or exclusively feminine‍—‌identities that are outside the gender binary.” –Wikipedia

I have never felt female. I also haven’t felt male. I just feel something else and it’s just a fluidity of sorts. I went through a phase in my life where I would ONLY shop in the boys section at retailers like The Gap, The Bay and Zellers. I practically lived in my carpenter jeans, a “no fear” shirt and a red gap pullover hoodie. I hung out with a few boys on the school yard. We would discuss Pokemon. This was when Red version had just come out — 1996. I guess I was around 8 years old.

I had no desire to wear anything remotely feminine. I didn’t even want to get my ears pierced, learn how to do makeup or anything my sister was doing.

I just felt awkward. I knew I already had struggles fitting in, but I couldn’t figure out why I felt such negativity towards being outwardly female. I still am unsure.

When I got a bit older, I embraced it. I learned how to do my makeup, I got my ears pierced, I wore dresses sometimes, skirts more of the time and styled my hair. I’m not saying these things are necessarily feminine but for me, I equated those experiences with that gender role. I’m not sure I ever felt comfortable dressing that way. I went to a family wedding and dressed up nice and in a dress, but it didn’t feel like me. I may have to invest in a nice pair of dress pants or something different.

Here’s a video that makes the concept easier to digest:

I am still coming to terms with things like pronouns. I know that she/her makes me uncomfortable. I just haven’t decided what I want to replace that with. I’m not sure if they/them would work for me.

I also don’t like terms like “pretty girl”, anything to do with “lady” or “m’am”. There’s just a feeling of not being able to relate that comes off pretty strongly for me. I’m not really sure what about it bugs me so much. I guess when you have something this deep-seeded and it’s been manifesting for so long, there’s a point in which a decision has to be made to live your truth. I’m starting to learn how to LIVE MY TRUTH.

I realize there’s probably a lot of places where I refer to myself with female pronouns and other female identifying words, so please don’t call me out on that. This is a work in progress and i am in a stage of my life where a lot of things are changing and patience is an exceptional virtue.

I definitely needed to get this out and share this with my readers. I know that sometimes there’s quite a bit of time between my posts. I often have to wait for that perfect moment where I can sit down, write and unleash all the thoughts that are building up in my mind. It’s a perfect release.

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Contradiction

white and multicolored love is love banner

Photo by 42 North on Pexels.com

The fact that people believe that LGBTQ2+ is a completely separate issue from being autistic blows my mind.

inclusion is inclusion.

diversity is diversity.

You can’t rally for one group and marginalize the other.

-How I feel about this whole Laurie Guerra issue and the comments here.

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Laurie Guerra, AUTISM BC + ANTI-SOGI

This is happening:

Laurie Guerra, Director of AUTISMBC spoke out at an ANTI-SOGI Event.

She is a bigot. To deny the rights of the LGBTQ2+ Community and work at a place where you are promoting inclusion and diversity and then turn around and make hateful comments is not acceptable.

Please share & sign the petition:

https://www.change.org/p/autism-bc-remove-laurie-guerra-from-her-board-director-position-with-autism-bc

UPDATE: I spoke up against Laurie on twitter and she blocked me. If this is how she handles things–with ignorance leading the way, she does not deserve to be in a place of power in any sense of the word.

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According to this website, Laurie makes over 400,000 annually.

It must be nice to make that kind of money and not have to worry about the consequences of hateful, homophobic speeches.

 

steak night-2

Laurie Guerra’s Socials:

AutismBC: