let go.

Letting go of the past is something I don’t know how to do. There’s so many mistakes, worries and frustrations that come with life and it’s difficult to know how to improve upon ones self.

Having a big episode happen in my life has created an insurmountable pile of stress on me. I can’t stop replaying it in my mind. I’m shocked, taken aback and I didn’t think it could happen.

It did happen. It still happened. It feels like a dream I can’t wake up from. I’ve been having a hard go of life lately. I’ve been suffering from these uncontrollable episodes that completely catch me off guard and I can’t get a grip on reality. It’s just like my body freezes up and I can’t function. I thought I was going about everything perfectly right. I thought I was understood.

I don’t know what’s next. I sure hope it’s better than this. I need answers to my questions, I need to believe I can do better. I need to be well. I seriously have my doubts.

 

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