Bold opinions and unnecessary apologies

I added to my anxiety today and it was my own fault. At this moment I am waiting for a bus and the sun is beaming down on the back of my legs. This long awaited warmth is not eclipsing my overwhelming feel of regret and embarrassment.

I learned a very big lesson today: I don’t ever have to apologize for offending people in regard to my strong, personal beliefs. 

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My list of “rules”

This is a pretty personal list. I haven’t had the wherewithal to actually create a decently written post so instead this is what you get.

What rules would you have on your list?

Outspoken, Childfree & Autistic.

Dealing with negative comments is no easy task. It makes my anxiety kick into high gear and makes me question how I feel about myself. I need to remind myself to breathe and realize that the comments don’t reflect how they feel about me but how they feel about themselves. The past few days i’ve had a few people utter the F-word about things I have posted or done.

Photo by Kayla Harris on Unsplash

I posted an unpopular opinion puffins meme from mindyourowneggs on instagram that read “I’M TIRED OF PARENTS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW TOUGH IT IS TO RAISE CHILDREN” and at the bottom of the image it read “NO ONE FORCED YOU TO HAVE KIDS.”  It prompted a flurry of messages on instagram from an Autistic Mother with an Autistic Child who took it to heart.

As a societal-whole, we make choices and need to deal with the consequences of our actions.

It continued on twitter with more messages towards me, essentially discrediting me as a “small time activist” amongst other things. 

I have been incredibly vocal about my Childfree stance and I do frequently worry about the sad state of our planet. My opinion encompasses all those feelings and I don’t want people to think I am specifically targeting parents of Autistic Children. I posted that meme as a blanket statement. I can’t say that I have much in common with parents of Autistic Children, because I don’t. When I speak, I speak from my heart. Entirely based on my experiences. Clearly, this doesn’t go over well with everyone, but those who have chosen to support me are people I would like to thank for giving me strength to get by. If anyone wants to believe that seeking out allies on social media platforms, by sharing this story, is a negative or “schoolyard” tactic, so be it. Childfree Autistic Adults do exist. We may be going against the grain of what society wants or expects from us, but we are just as valid.

There’s many things about myself I wouldn’t want to duplicate and therefore being Childfree has always been the best choice. How would I benefit from hearing people complain about a choice I have consciously decided not to make? I can’t provide any insight other than saying “Well, you made this choice.”, I can’t. There’s honestly nothing else I can possibly say to satisfy a parent. I still care about the rights of Autistic People as a whole and with that being said, I do what I can with my Childfree stance intact. There are facebook groups for Childfree individuals. There are instagrams, twitter accounts, websites, even Childfree Cruises and the Not-Mom Summit. A community which thrives. I’m not going to stop doing what I am doing because one person thinks I need to be a certain way.


I’m Childfree.

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When I was younger, other kids would play with dolls. I didn’t care for them. I had no instinct to play with toys that were reminiscent of future motherhood. I preferred hot wheels, crazy bones, reading books and once in a while I pulled the heads off my sisters Barbie dolls. When I got older, Pokemon was all the rage and you’d often find me on my lime green game boy colour. The motherly instinct never arrived and I was completely fine by that.


I was with my family at an outdoor square yesterday and as everyone was conversing, there was this lady with her crying infant. The screams tore through me like the feeling of walking on shards of glass. It was immensely painful to listen to. I couldn’t take the shrill, repetitive noises. I felt just as though I was going to get the worst migraine ever. I started feeling anxious, panicked and ready to leave. At this point, I wished I had a pair of some really good sound cancelling headphones or a pair of earplugs that filter all the sound out. My sensitivity to loud noises was being tested and I was feeling very frantic. I just wanted it to stop, so badly.

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I have never seen myself as a Mother. Hell, I don’t even consider myself very feminine.

Having a child and having those responsibilities is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. There’s a lot of financial resources needed and a lot of time, effort and stress – none of which I even would remotely ever want to take on. I am happy being an Aunt to two wonderful kids.

I also absolutely love, love, love my rescue cats. They fill any kind of need I may have to be nurturing, without making me compromise who I am. I love their pink jellybean toes, cute noses and small tiger-like qualities. They are my little house lions.

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It’s not like I don’t support other people’s children. (Doesn’t even matter if I want to or not) It’s mandatory as it is included in taxes which are then given back in the forms of tax rebates if you have children.  There are also a lot of politicians touting free childcare as part of their campaign promises to lure voters.

girl crying on woman s lap

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This will NEVER be me – and I am beyond pleased to say it.


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