I currently have a piece of art up at the JCC Vancouver’s Community Longing & Belonging exhibit. Tonight was the grand opening of the exhibit and a lot of people made it out. I was happy to share the space with so many talented artists, some of which included my Mother, who painted a Hamsa and birdhouses, as well as my two Sisters, one picture missing. My younger Sister used a pouring technique.
I was also interviewed by an old school friend of mine, Alison, for Co-Op Radio which will be on this Sunday.
I was taking a photo of myself with my art and lingering around the same general area when a Lady came up to me and started talking. I can’t recall the exact conversation but it got to a point where I tried multiple times to end it. Being an Autistic Person is part of my identity and I harbour no shame towards that. I believe I may have introduced myself as an Autistic Artist. This Lady was very forward with the things she said, some of which included how we shouldn’t label ourselves and how she does not believe in that. I was saying it’s part of who I am. I can’t remember what else I said but she was still persistent. I felt really invalidated and upset but I didn’t want to show those feelings.
If someone wants to refer to themselves as the way they identify, there’s no reason for someone else to decide that for them. I wasn’t saying anything negative about myself! I find it empowering because it’s a celebration of what Autistic people are capable of and bringing light to how diverse we can all be.
I just want to add that i’ve felt incredibly depressed lately and my emotional sensitivity is taking a beating. I can’t handle very much and I am in no mood to argue. It completely depletes me of any energy I was harbouring.
I was able to channel my negative mood in to some new pieces of art that are very bright, happy and positive.
I have been enjoying a lot of hot chocolate and teas while frantically entering Christmas contests. It’s that time of year again and it happens to be one of my most enjoyable hobbies. Seriously. I do this…!
I did some more background work on film where I was dressed up all 80s and it was WILD. I didn’t realize my hair could get that big.
Lastly, I actually drew something that conveys my hyper-awareness & anxiety all at the very same time:
I have been thinking of some articles i would like to write so i’m just kind of waiting for that BURST of creativity to hit me so I can get it done. I haven’t neglected my blog. I always fear people are going to think i’ve abandoned it. That’s just not the case.
With the help of my Mother and youtube, I have been taking up sewing. I’m a complete amateur with a whole lot to learn but my ideas are, quite literally, BURSTING-AT-THE-SEAMS! I purchased a Brother sewing machine a while back from Costco and dug up some thrifted zippers out of storage. I got some placemats and fabric from thrift stores and thread from Walmart! I also got some raw canvas from DeSerres and here’s what i’ve made so far.
I’ve been told that inserting zippers is the hardest part, but honestly – it’s been the easiest! I definitely need to get some Fray-stop, some D rings, more zippers, some wonder clips and a rotary cutter. I’m trying to keep it all organized and put together. It’s really fun being able to combine my art with sewing.
I believe I have embraced this as my identity in a very subconscious way. I have no fear when it comes to expressing myself and I don’t think I ever did.
Anxiety is also a big part of who I am. It sometimes forces me to freeze and feel very weak-minded. It takes over me. I sweat profusely, I get heart palpitations, I just want to run and cower. It even can prompt me to sleep a whole lot.
Art is something that can help calm me right down, it is my soul doing the talking. It is an everlasting moment of freedom. I can look at my Art and think “I made that?”. It can be incredibly hard to believe.
I have hopes and dreams with it. Literal “close-my-eyes-and-fall-asleep” dreams. I see myself in the heart of a big city with my art in a gallery. I know it can be considered low brow and heck, I know there’s people who don’t like it and who could truly care less about me. I still have this dream.
“It’s too small. It should be bigger!”
“I can’t be your friend because I can’t stand your Art.”
“Your art is ugly.”
Tell me this. Tell me this over and over and over and over again. Please.
Why? Get your negative thoughts out, it’s good for you.
I really want to thank my sweet buyer in Britain for purchasing my piece of Art! It really makes me feel so nice that there are people out there who enjoy the pieces my soul creates. I have been told recently that my Art made someone “sick” and I have also been told in the past that someone couldn’t talk to me or associate themselves with me because they didn’t like my art work. It’s hard but I have to focus on the positives!
I recently completed this “nameless” piece of art but it is depicting some trees, a river and a haphazard sunset or sunrise. I’m never too sure about it!