More good things!

I have some exciting news to announce.

Not only was I a recipient of a BC Arts Council grant – which means I have the ability to create more awesome things, but my local MLA (Member of the legislative assembly) Rick Glumac spoke about me at the British Columbia Legislature in Victoria.

Here’s the video!

I am so grateful that my hard work was acknowledged and that he spoke up about the puzzle piece, awareness vs acceptance and used my correct pronouns.

I also wanted to announce that not only was I an independent consultant for York Universities Mental Health Literacy for Autism, but I am so pleased to show you that they chose to use my “Love Grows” image on the cover as you can see here.

If you like this design, I actually sell pins, patches and stickers with it in my etsy store!

I’ve also contributed to a few “Nothing with out us” segments on CBC’s “on the coast with Gloria Macarenko”, and i’m incredibly thankful that I have been given this opportunity.

I’ve been keeping myself as busy as possible and I will have many new items that i’ll be releasing soon and I even got my first dose of the covid-19 vaccine. I’ve been working on keeping myself hydrated and my mind in a more positive state. It’s a challenge though and I can’t wait until my family, friends and roommates are fully vaccinated.

I really can’t wait to share more good things with you.

Thank you so much for supporting me and reading.

Mortgage Tree does it again.

I had reached out to Mortgage Tree in the past to provide them with feedback about how terrible their campaign was.

I’ve already written extensively and provided a free guide for businesses to understand how to navigate these treatorous waters, but they actively choose not to listen.

They blocked me after this.

I created a video and a long blog post about all the things that happened.

The original writing from 2019

They made a plethora of excuses and essentially negated my voice and all the feedback that I had for them. Seems like they’ve continued on this campaign and also have continued to hire a NON-AUTISTIC artist (from what it seems) to create a colouring book page for them.

It’s exhausting to provide feedback to give them the chance to change and do better, but instead they choose not to do this.

If you want to see what they have done with their campaign and reach out to them, here’s where you can go:

The businesses involved:

Achievements!

I have been working hard to reach more milestones and I want to announce that I met my 500 sales goal and I have exceeded it. I have had so many orders go out lately and it’s keeping me exceptionally busy, which I am so grateful for. I am reminded of how I am living a dream i’ve always had, and that’s always been to sell my own merchandise. I try to ensure that I also write hand written notes to each customer.

Look at all these packages I sent out! This wasn’t even all of them.

Another goal that was reached was that the Made by Autistics Community is now well over 3,000 members strong. How incredible is this? I saw a desperate need for a group for Autistic creatives out of frustration I had. Every time I just wanted to SHOWCASE my specific cat-related art, I would head in to cat groups and people would ask me if I was selling or they’d tell me no selling was allowed, when all I wanted to do was showcase my art! That also lead me to creating the Made by Autistics Marketplace to fill that need. Both these groups work well with each other. Sometimes there’s a few bumps in the road, but I do my best.

Recently my artwork was licensed for a very special project so when that’s all finalized, i’m very eager to share. I also have a speaking engagement coming up as well so i’m stoked for that.

I was also featured on the Tri-City News and Vancouver Is Awesome! I would love if you could check out the article (they are the same on both sites) and share with your friends. I also posted about it on the Vancouver sub reddit and it’s created a really interesting discussion.

So, with all that being said: i’ve been very busy, my 6th enamel pin is currently in production, I am going to be creating so many more things and i’m not stopping anytime soon!

P.S. My sister and her bandmate released a brand new song, i’d be so jazzed if you could watch it and follow them on twitter and facebook.

My Enamel Pins

I am so proud to announce my newest pin design “Smiling Sun”, I can’t believe i’m up to five designs so far. This has always been a huge dream of mine and even though I haven’t sold a single sun pin yet, I feel like i’m trying to remain positive and set myself up for future successes.

I am hoping that, once Covid is a thing of a past (will that even happen?) that I will be able to participate in small festivals in Vancouver. I really think that these pins would be a huge hit.

There are many plans for the future, such as cute cat pins that I can create for charitable purposes. I have applied for some grants so fingers crossed I can get some more funding.

It also seems like the interest in my original art has completely dwindled and that the things that are selling well for me are my Neurodiversity Pride collection, my LGBTQ2+ collection, my Childfree enamel pins & my Autism identity enamel pins.

I try to remind myself that even though the interest in my merchandise and offerings has changed, that i’m still able to create whatever I want and bring more acceptance towards the Autistic community.

Here I am, wearing my Smiling Sun pin and I have themed my entire outfit based on the colours of the pins.

If you want to support me, please check out www.etsy.com/shop/retrophiliac and please share it with your friends. I thrive on word of mouth!

Etsy MILESTONE!

I’m so excited to announce that i’ve reached and exceeded 400 sales in my etsy store.

Photo by Anna-Louise on Pexels.com

This is HUGE! Each and every sale I get helps me support myself and continue to reinvest in to getting more items made. I have enamel pins being manufactured right now and the hope is to have them released by the beginning of March.

I also have a lot of new and gently used clothing to list on my depop, poshmark and ebay accounts. I’m really branching out and finding different revenue streams. It also DEFINITELY ensures that I am never bored.

Now that I got a formal OCD diagnosis, it explains why I have routines and clean obsessively. I feel like I understand myself a lot better.

I have been updating my TIKTOK account very frequently, so I hope you follow me over there. I’d love to interact with you. We could be mutuals?

All the best,

Margaux

The stress of Autism Advocacy

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again:

I’m so ready to throw in the towel.

I felt like my contributions were worthwhile and at this point I feel like the stress and fighting is far outweighing the benefits and my mental health is suffering. I am at a low point.

If the goal is to help folks, we should be understanding that the worst thing to do is penalize people.

I’m unsure what happened to the ideals of kindness, speaking to people with respect and understanding. It seems like this has all fallen by the wayside. Instead, there’s folks out there with sheer anger and frustration, taking it out on everyone for the world to see.

It’s sad to know that we’ve come to a place where instead of activism, advocacy and helping people, we’ve been reduced to videos where folks are naming names and creating a cult or pact mentality against folks in our community.

Is re-victimizing and triggering folks helping anyone? If we are to be helpful, why is calling out people in videos acceptable, acknowledged and praised? This should never be the baseline.

The focus has been taken away from information, knowledge and advice and has turned in to dictatorship with numerous folks joining in on the bullying, further strengthening the ability to dog pile and driving them to their lowest point – driving them to contemplate suicide.

The sad thing is, it’s going to happen. Someone is going to end up harming themselves. I know that I was made to feel like an absolute piece of human filth. I felt like crying. I was triggered, I was brought to panic. I also was made to be unable to seek emotional help that I was in dire need of.

I’m not trying to argue. But at what point do I have to say “enough is enough”?

Well i’ll tell you:

When the emotional toll becomes too much to bare and helping people is overshadowed.

We shouldn’t be bullying folks out of activism and advocacy. If our goal is to help people, why are so many folks being driven to mental breakdowns? Because the opportunity to listen has turned in to the opportunity to dictate.

I’m not putting myself through this. I’m beyond sad. I’m not trying to argue, i’m not trying to fight, i’m not trying to start a war. But this is eating away at me and the moment i’m told to stay silent becomes the moment I have to speak.

Puzzle Pieces & Autism Moms

I have wanted to write about this for a while but I have been putting it off.

I wanted to address the issue with “Autism Moms” or “Autism Parents” and the exploitative tactics that sellers of Puzzle piece merchandise utilize to gain sales.

I reached out to a parent run company on etsy that was selling a sparkly puzzle piece enamel pin in honour of their Autistic child. I tried to educate them and tell them that it is a symbol of hate and eugenics, and instead they felt threatened by me and told me if I continued to contact them, that they’d report me to etsy.

@retr0philiac

Informal video. Read the ableist history of the puzzle piece. Please no pro puzzles! #autism #autistic #autistictok #actuallyautistic #neurodiversity

♬ original sound – Margaux – retrophiliac

There’s over 6,000 listings for the search query of “Puzzle piece Autism”. These are sellers who are EXPLOTING THE IGNORANCE OF FOLKS WHO DO NOT KNOW IT’S A HATE SYMBOL. Chances are, the people selling these items are profiting off this. They probably know how harmful this symbol is and yet they continue to perpetuate it because it’s PROFITABLE.

I’m unsure of how many folks don’t see the problem here. Profiting off these symbols and selling them to unsuspecting individuals is wrong and again, incredibly exploitative.

I’m in a facebook group and a mother had asked about her “Autism Mama” bracelet which was adorned with puzzle pieces, and she was quickly – and swiftly educated.

I ended up having an “Autism Mom” slide in to my private messages and DEMANDING I educate her on the subject. There was more than enough information in the initial thread. She weaponized an Art of Autism article against me about someone who was pro-puzzle piece (but denounced her support in the beginning of the article). I had asked The Art of Autism to amend this article to include pertinent articles and was met with an uncomfortable misunderstanding. At this point, I will no longer associate myself with The Art of Autism.

Make better choices, buy from Autistic people (Made by Autistics Marketplace is a great resource), support the rainbow spectrum infinity symbol and do your research.

A note: If you’re a PARENT of an AUTISTIC CHILD, Do -NOT- co opt their diagnosis as your identity. This is NOT your identity. Don’t talk over Autistic adults. Listen instead. Remember: Your child is going to be an ADULT SOMEDAY. Wouldn’t; you want them to be able to help others and feel empowered?

Also: don’t expect Autistic adults to be a certain way or to provide endless advice. We don’t owe anyone (especially parents) anything.

If you need more information about this, please visit:

Don’t forget, I have a NEURODIVERSITY PRIDE COLLECTION. There ARE alternatives to the puzzle piece.

Aisle Period Underwear Review

As someone who identifies as non binary, getting my period is something that I don’t enjoy dealing with. I will admit that it’s MUCH better than the alternative (the alternative being pregnant, i’m openly childfree).

Continue reading

I designed these!

My updates have been becoming more and more infrequent and I am sorry for that! I have been so focused on getting these items up in my etsy store and promoting them as much as possible.

I now have black and gold Autistic identity stickers & enamel pins up in my store, and I recently wrote an article about my Neurodiversity Pride collection for The Mighty.

I hope you check out my Etsy shop if you’re interested in purchasing any of these items! Tell your friends 🙂

Former friends, loyalty and Being Autistic

I seem to utilize my blog at times where I feel really emotional, or post meltdown. Sometimes I feel calm and serene while updating but most of the time I am dealing with inner turmoil.

Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

Periodically throughout the years, someone who made negative comments about my mother and essentially ghosted me over a decade ago, has constantly reached out to my family members to engage in friendly banter — all while choosing to ignore me with every attempt to find out what I did wrong, apologize and clear the air. This person would press ‘block’ nearly immediately.

I wasn’t trying to recreate a friendship we just had (which is what they thought I was trying to do), I was merely trying to reduce or eliminate the negative feelings they had towards me.

I thought this was the right thing to do.

Seeing the comment they made yesterday (on my family members post) was no different. I sent an apology, said their kindness ‘didn’t go unnoticed’ and attempted to reach out. I had done this periodically throughout the years in the hopes that they would grow as a person, forgive and ‘be okay’ with who I am as a person. I’m not sure why I would be lead to believe any differently when the example of their behaviour that I was presented with was kind, conversational and engaging.

Well, I was wrong. I was very wrong. Once again, I misread the social cues. I reached out and got blocked.

I went to my other (art) account and then asked them to “please do not interact with my family anymore.” I had told my family member how this person had been treating me throughout the years (with visual proof, this time) in the hopes that they would stand by me, support me and no longer associate with someone who had been treating me so disrespectfully.

The response I got was probably one of the cruelest, most judgemental messages I have ever received in my life. There were comments about me being negative, toxic, throwing a temper tantrum, how this person is in their 30’s now and they’ve grown and that’s due in part to the fact that I am no longer in their life, that my attempts to reach out (and in my words, reconcile) were harassment. This was two exceptionally long messages. I then explained that my family member had read the words they told me, and finally they told me to ‘go F myself’ and that I was ‘toxic AF’. This person also chose to misgender me. If they would have taken the time to even learn about my Autism diagnosis, they would have seen how these comments were rooted in ablism. I did not have my diagnosis until 5 years ago. I didn’t even self diagnose at the time we were friends.

Now, let’s not forget that people change a whole lot in 12-14 years. I certainly am not the same person I was in my late teens/early twenties. My main focus is doing what I can for the Autistic community and supporting cat welfare organizations when I am able to. My mindset is “What can I do for others?” —especially in times of distress.

The part that hurt the most is that this lead to a huge argument with my family member who was incredibly defensive and refused to cut this person out. Fortunately, this former friend of mine blocked my family — but in the end, it wasn’t really about the former friend. It was about remaining loyal to family. It was about being supportive of your family member when someone else has chosen to spew words that don’t; harbour any truth; words that were made to hurt.

I cried a significant amount last night. I had a meltdown. I felt like I couldn’t see, like I couldn’t breathe. None of the words I was saying (and the way I was explaining the situation) seemed to have resonated with those around me. I felt wholly exasperated.

I was essentially crying out for much needed emotional support and I was not getting it from those around me. I was not getting the “I care about you. This person treated you poorly. I love you, I have your back. I wouldn’t ever associate with someone who treats you like this. This is showing who they are as a person and it’s not reflective of who you are.” None of that. I got this kind of support from my friends, albeit – online. That doesn’t negate how thankful and gracious I was to each person who was willing to listen.

The moral of the story is: remain loyal to your friends and family. Stand up for them. Don’t allow them to be bullied by others. Don’t sit idly by and be complacent. Not involving yourself is essentially saying “hey, this behaviour is okay.” it’s not saying “i don’t want to be involved in drama.”

Engaging in friendly banter with someone who bullies your relative is a way to continue to re victimize and trigger them — yes, it is even worse if they are Neurodiverse. We need more allies. We need less people to be complacent with ableist behaviour and more people to stand up and say “this isn’t okay how you are treating them (my family). I don’t feel comfortable engaging with you unless you make amends and express kindness towards them.” either that, or swiftly blocking them without allowing pride to get in the way.

That’s all I wanted.