When I first found out that I was Autistic, my life finally made sense. It was a sigh of relief. I didn’t know of the great change that the Neurodiversity movement has been striving for until I was able to join the conversation.
Whether it’s the blue divide, eugenics, harmful imagery, hate towards LGBTQ2+ individuals or a vast variety of other pertinent social issues, I am continually learning.
Some of these issues are very divisive. Throw religion in to the mix and it’s a whole other can of worms.
Sometimes i get so fired up and I feel compelled to create content about it. I hope that it’s something people want to read and share. Although, that’s not always my main motivation, I believe it helps me get out all the things that are bubbling up under the surface so I can rest a little bit easier, knowing i did something constructive with it.
From being targeted by friends-of-a-father-of-an-Autistic-child to an Autistic Christian content creator, to someone who alleges that I am creating content with hate directed at someone else (amongst many other examples), It hasn’t come with out its fair share of drama which I am not immune to. Yes, people do make critical and hateful comments towards me.
I don’t think anyone is immune, i think what varies is the way you handle it. Bullying is not something that’s new to me. I always stood for what I believed in. Seemingly having a non-conformist opinion (the contrary to what everyone else was thinking), I never went along with the general construct of society. I usually didn’t agree with my peers. I knew I stood out and that I was weird or different. My schoolmates didn’t hesitate to be cruel and unusual with telling me these things.
I cried a lot as a child, but as an adult – I have chosen to find different ways to handle things. My life experiences have paved the way for me and have created positive changes in my way of thinking. I am not saying that I always have the most optimal coping strategy; it’s flawed.
I do get angry sometimes. I choose to talk about my feelings with others so I can get an alternative point of view. I think it’s essential for me to form some well-rounded responses, even if they just live in my head and are never uttered aloud.
Negativity bias is also something I struggle with, thanks to years of emotional abuse during my most crucial brain development years. This is very evident when I get a flurry of positive responses and seemingly am only able to focus on the one or two negative ones I receive.
I need time to myself, self care and self reflections are things we shouldn’t ever deny ourselves. My blog was initially started as a passion project to portray how I felt about receiving my Autism diagnosis. I never thought that I would end up on various news outlets. I guess that is because I am so passionate. I put my whole heart in to everything I do and I believe I am here to create real change.
Being so lucky to find a generally accepting community of Neurodiverse friends around the world has been one of the greatest gifts that came along with my diagnosis. (I want to say that I don’t believe having a formal diagnosis should negate anyone from finding this community. It’s just how I personally needed the validation of a dx for my own reasons)
I have learned so much from them. Eve of International Badass Activists was one of the first people I ever had the pleasure of talking to. Her website was one of the first Autism activism sites I ever visited. I am so thankful to Eve’s strong voice. She inspires me and leads with strength.
I have no plans to stop. No one is going to force me in to silence. None of my Autistic friends and change-makers should be bullied in to silence.
I stand with them, beside them and for them. We will not shut up. We deserve to exist.