Coming to terms with identity.

As you may already know (but you might not?!) I already have a hard enough time calling myself an “Autistic Artist” without a few people getting rather upset with me over that.

Now, I am adding a new term to the mix:

Non Binary

Nonbinary, also known as genderqueer, is a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or exclusively feminine‍—‌identities that are outside the gender binary.” –Wikipedia

I have never felt female. I also haven’t felt male. I just feel something else and it’s just a fluidity of sorts. I went through a phase in my life where I would ONLY shop in the boys section at retailers like The Gap, The Bay and Zellers. I practically lived in my carpenter jeans, a “no fear” shirt and a red gap pullover hoodie. I hung out with a few boys on the school yard. We would discuss Pokemon. This was when Red version had just come out — 1996. I guess I was around 8 years old.

I had no desire to wear anything remotely feminine. I didn’t even want to get my ears pierced, learn how to do makeup or anything my sister was doing.

I just felt awkward. I knew I already had struggles fitting in, but I couldn’t figure out why I felt such negativity towards being outwardly female. I still am unsure.

When I got a bit older, I embraced it. I learned how to do my makeup, I got my ears pierced, I wore dresses sometimes, skirts more of the time and styled my hair. I’m not saying these things are necessarily feminine but for me, I equated those experiences with that gender role. I’m not sure I ever felt comfortable dressing that way. I went to a family wedding and dressed up nice and in a dress, but it didn’t feel like me. I may have to invest in a nice pair of dress pants or something different.

Here’s a video that makes the concept easier to digest:

I am still coming to terms with things like pronouns. I know that she/her makes me uncomfortable. I just haven’t decided what I want to replace that with. I’m not sure if they/them would work for me.

I also don’t like terms like “pretty girl”, anything to do with “lady” or “m’am”. There’s just a feeling of not being able to relate that comes off pretty strongly for me. I’m not really sure what about it bugs me so much. I guess when you have something this deep-seeded and it’s been manifesting for so long, there’s a point in which a decision has to be made to live your truth. I’m starting to learn how to LIVE MY TRUTH.

I realize there’s probably a lot of places where I refer to myself with female pronouns and other female identifying words, so please don’t call me out on that. This is a work in progress and i am in a stage of my life where a lot of things are changing and patience is an exceptional virtue.

I definitely needed to get this out and share this with my readers. I know that sometimes there’s quite a bit of time between my posts. I often have to wait for that perfect moment where I can sit down, write and unleash all the thoughts that are building up in my mind. It’s a perfect release.

Expanding my art offerings!

Things have been so crazy lately! I sometimes get on random art tangents and i’m able to create things I didn’t think were possible.

A lot of people have been asking about me getting my art on merchandise and I just didn’t like the options until I found a good one – so now i’m able to offer art on all kinds of applications.

This is my favourite:

Here are some bag designs currently in my shop.

I hope you have a chance to check out my etsy and my facebook page for updates on me.

Oh, I also have a meeting with a couple fellow Autistics who have asked me to join, to talk to an organization I currently have come concerns about and have written about. This will be a first for me.

-Margaux

Exposing The Aspie World

I am one of those people who seem to have the ability to cut through the drivel that is perpetuated by others.

I saw right through Daniel Jones of The Aspie World. I knew that there was something about him that didn’t sit right with me.

I have created two videos where I react to him. His content is truly repulsive.

1. Sensationalism

His content is chalk full of sensationalism, which is defined as “(especially in journalism) the use of exciting or shocking stories or language at the expense of accuracy, in order to provoke public interest or excitement.”

He uses clickbait titles which plays off the very same theme, essentially taking Autism to a level where it becomes something fresh, new and exciting – at the expense of others. He also pairs up with other YouTube creators who have the same thing in mind. I recently heard that he made a point of insulting “negative” creators at an event tied to the creation of his videos.

2. Self fulfilling prophecy

He creates content to boost his ego. He can’t take critiques from anybody. If you tell him he’s doing something wrong, you’ll be blocked very quickly.

There have been other people in the #ActuallyAutistic community who have called him out and some that have even taken the time to private message him to express their feelings about his content, only for it to fall through the cracks and be disregarded. He has also written a book about a religion (he may or may not) have created and he also promotes his merchandise through his videos.

Edit (July 11th 2019): It’s also alleged that Daniel Jones is even more phoney than he lets on. User “yourfavehatesautismspeaks” on tumblr has added some very interesting talking points to the conversation.

Alex Watts is his producer and “community manager” who decided to send me this on twitter. It’s incredibly unfortunate that they will stoop to tactics like this as a means to communicate with me.

July 12th, still being heckled by Dan Jones “Community Manager”, who fails to uphold himself to any professional standards.

3. Misinformation

If you have the ability to watch my react videos, you’ll notice very quickly that he fails to cite sources for his information. When talking about Aspergers VS Autism, he prefaces it saying that it doesn’t apply to everyone, yet he makes generalizations. Autism absorbed Aspergers in 2015 — Four years before his video came out. He said he will be updating the video, but it’s not like he didn’t have the new information at the time of creation. I also am baffled at a lot of the things he says and he continues to perpetuate his information as fact. It’s not factual. If you can’t cite sources and you can’t show proof to people, you’re only as good as your word.

His videos are presented at different educational events which is a further way to perpetuate fiction.

He has also said that there is a lack of Autistic female youtube creators, which also is not true. Perhaps he said this because he’s not a fan of those who have challenged him and suggested that he change.

Emma Dalmayne created a video back in October of 2018 that I highly suggest you watch.

4. Preaching to Autism Moms

A vast majority of his audience seem to be Autism “Warrior” Moms. These are the type of people who generally won’t listen to #ActuallyAutistic adults in favour of people who are telling them what they want to hear. Daniel Jones has found that they are the perfect audience for him and he uses terms that are generally not well liked by our community like “WITH Autism”, “With Aspergers” — which I find a lot of these parents use. Plenty of them are Autism Speaks supporters as well and won’t hesitate to attach a shiny blue puzzle piece to their social media handles.

In closing:

If you’re not going to listen to the community you supposedly represent and are part of and you continue to promote yourself with the basis of your content being completely untruthful, manufactured, sensationalized and self-gratifying, you’re not helping anyone.

I also believe it’s so important to give a voice to my fellow Autistics and I have done so in this post. It’s not just me who is striving for change and proper representation. IF YOU HAVE AN AUDIENCE, DO SOMETHING GOOD WITH IT!