..but words still hurt and the pain lingers.
Photo by Shamia Casiano on Pexels.com
I believe in the power of words. Whether it’s for good or bad, words linger. The power you can have over someone else’s emotions and personal strength is more impactful then you probably realize. That being said, tomorrow is my birthday and today I feel a bit crestfallen.
15 years, 20 years or 25 years, does the timeline really matter if you still feel the same way that you did when that person said or did that hurtful thing to you? Does time invalidate the pain or the ability to make things right with someone who you may have said incredibly distressing things to? No. Never.
You have time to make things right; time to heal those who you have wounded.
I feel like a fool sometimes for reaching out to those people and try to give them a chance to make amends, clear the air and have a positive interaction with me — but some of those people would rather make it seem like I am the one at fault; like I deserved it.
Reliving these terrible instances is a horrible way to live. Oh, and not only live, but sleep, dream or even have nightmares about it. Why are some worthy of respect from these individuals, even friends of mine, and yet I’m not? I don’t know if it’s because I’m wired differently, because I’m neurodiverse or because my skin isn’t as thick as it could be. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I spent so many years crying and being ‘beat up’ emotionally by those around me, including a family member who should have set a good example. The term “emotional punching bag” comes to mind.
DoodleBeth illustrates it perfectly. It was truly kismet to see this images yesterday.
If someone gives you the chance to make things right, please don’t insinuate that the victim is the one to blame when given the chance to make things right:
“I am sorry you harboured this feeling for so long. i’m not sure if I can give you the response that you wanted – but I do hope you can mend that hole.”
In conclusion:
Navigating Life 
Very true, and an important post. I’ve had those experiences from individuals years ago who have hurt me, and though I’ve found better people there are times those words still haunt me to this day. I also like how you reminded us to be kind- because it those go a long way. 🙂
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Thank you for your comment. It doesn’t help that I have it embedded in my brain that it’s what I deserve. I can thank all the years of verbal abuse from my father for that.
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You’re welcome, and sorry to hear that. I can imagine it to be a tougher task, coming from someone in your family and would think to be trustworthy. Sending love and kind thoughts your way.
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